There’s never enough sleeping pills.

” I’ve always been here ”

Just, love this. Even thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

This is the second time now I’ve had a dream where I’m masturbating. How is it even my sexy dreams are boring?!

I’m not great at change. 

But you wouldn’t know that with the year I’ve had. 

All since November I’ve gotten engaged. Gotten a new car. Moved in a new home, that my fiance owns. Gotten a tiny puppy. and drum roll please…tomorrow I start my new job in a completely different field than I’ve been working in the last 4+ years. 

Change is good, or so they say. But what do they say about so much change at once? My hope is good things but time will be the judge. My only hope is that the verdict be in my favor. I have no room for complaint, it’s all been postive. I only wish my life would stop spinning and let me catch up. 

My insides are tied in knots and no matter how many deep breaths I take I never feel like I’ve inhaled. 

I have the normal litany of New Years resolutions. Eat better, lose weight, drink less, you know the ones. 

But really all I resolve to do this year, really, is to let go of regrets and anxieties and be happy with my beautiful, blessed life. 

Let do this thing. 

🍁🍂🌿💍!!! @andrewborel (at Columbia Gorge)

San Fransico, I love it.

I’m going to start smiling more. For a week. Just test it out to see what happens. Smile when i’m annoyed, at strangers, when I want to scream..I’m just going to smile. 

Wow, sorry this took me forever to write back. I’m not as tumblr savvy as I am with other things. Yes! You did stay at my house. I hope you enjoyed Portland :)